Wednesday 13 July 2011

Tiger Woods


A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something toeat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

Bad day in the office! very funny



Oh Shit, Classic

There are 3 guys that are stuck on a cliff. God has gave them each one wish, so they can escape the cliff. But god says that in order for them to get their wish they have to run and jump off the cliff. So the first guy gets a running start and then jumps and says " I wish i could be an eagle!" He goes flying!. The second guy runs and jumps and wishes to be an airplane, he goes flying. Then finally the last guy goes, he gets a running start and trips," SHIT!"